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CONVICTED POLYGAMIST SEEKS UNLIMITED CONJUGAL VISITS

“YEAH, THREE SQUARES AND THREE SCREWS A DAY; I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.” “There’s nothing hotter than conjugal visit orgies.” Story here.

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Museum of Natural History Set to Open a ‘Republican Exhibit’

“WE ALWAYS KNEW REPUBLICANS WERE DINOSAURS … BUT NOW WE’VE REALLY GOT THEM BY THE BONES.”

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Another ‘Red State’ Comes in Late for Obama: Mars!

  “WE ALWAYS WANTED TO VOTE DEMOCRATIC — WE JUST COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET TO EARTH UNTIL WOLF BLITZER HELPED US OUT.” CNN’s Jessica Yellin appears live as a hologram before anchor Wolf Blitzer...

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